New Story – Feedback Welcome

“I’m just going to the shop, then home. That’s it,” Mark said, after counting the money in his hand and putting it back in his pocket.

“Come on. I’m not letting them get away with that.”

“James. Do whatever you want, but I’m not coming.”

Mark started walking away, but James caught up with.

“They meant it. They’ll think we’re cowards.”

“So?” Mark said, while carrying on walking.

“What do you mean so? You weren’t saying that two hours ago.”

Mark stopped and turned to James.

“I’ve had time to think. It’s a stupid idea. Anyway you know what they are like. Their big mouths. They’ve probably gone home.”

“Then nothing will happen if we go there.”

“You go then. I’m seriously going home now.”

“Thanks you’re a big help.”

“You’re just being stupid. If it was a good idea then I would help. Now please just go.”

Mark turned away from James and started walking down the street.

“Thanks a lot. I’ll just go by myself.”

Mark stopped. He never knew why he followed James.

“Come on then. It won’t take that long.”

“No. You go home. As you said you weren’t interested.”

“James. Don’t.”

James laughed as they started walking back in the opposite direction, past the school and towards the empty house a couple of streets away.

“It was your idea to do this anyway?” James said.

“My idea? It really wasn’t my idea. I just told them to stop showing off that they can steal roll ups from their parents. You were the one who believed it was something else.”

“As if you aren’t interested.”

“Really I’m not.”

They carried on in silence, both knowing where the house was. Everyone knew the house.

“We’ll go round the back and through the fence,” James said.


“I saw a couple of kids round there the other week, they were ripping the fence apart. The door to the house is unlocked]]

as well. Someone broke the window and opened it that way.”

They approached the house, with the long broken windows. Some of them had been boarded up, but it was clear that the house had been forgotten.

“Why do you think the house is like this? Someone must own it?” Mark asked.

“I don’t know. It’s been empty for a long time though.”

They walked down the small passage next to the house and around to the back. There was a small grassy area behind the back of the house. The garden fence had been ripped away and thrown across the grassy area.

“Come on. Lets go. The door is always open,” James said.

“After you.”


They walked through and opened the door.

“Lets check the living room,” James said.

“Look. Nothing here.”

“We haven’t checked upstairs yet.”

“Yeah. I’m going home now.”

The stairs in the next room creaked and both of them turned towards the doorway. Josh walked through.

“I didn’t think you would actually come.”  

 * * *

I started this for Fiction at Uni. I’m going to extend the piece, but I would appreciate feedback for this section. 

About ashleymanningwriter

Young Adult Fiction writer. Horror and fantasy blended together.
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