Director: Prarthana Mohan
Starring: Sara Endsley
Starring: Hayley Orrantia, Janel Parrish, Dermot Mulroney, Michael Naizu, Emilie Modaff
Every so often a film comes along that’s so bad, it’s almost like a punishment having to sit through it. That’s what Christmas is Cancelled is, horrendous with no redeeming qualities. You don’t expect a Christmas film to be anything special, you just want something nice and entertaining to watch. Christmas is Cancelled is anything but entertaining. It’s beyond awful and yet somehow it exists. Watching this is worse than receiving coal in your stocking. it’s truly a punishment that no one deserves.
After returning home for Christmas, Emma Lockhart (Hayley Orrantia) finds that her dad (Dermot Mulroney) has started dating her former friend/nemesis from high-school, Brandy Barnes (Janel Parrish). Feeling betrayed, Emma decides she’s going to break them up, despite the pleas of reason from her best friend Charlyne (Emilie Modaff)
Everything about this film is awful, it just shouldn’t exist. It’s a ‘romcom’ but there’s no jokes that land (the only bit that even made me smile was some awful background acting from an extra). You can see where it’s trying to be funny, but it’s so badly written. This film is like that friend who thinks they’re funny so insists on telling jokes, only to get a reaction of silence from everyone. It feels incredibly dated, like the script was written twenty years ago, with outdated jokes, like how every man Emma’s dad meets wants to high five him for dating someone his daughter’s age. There’s even a moment where someone says that every male is just trying to get with the youngest woman around, and it’s just accepted as truth. Everything is based on stereotypes and out of date humour. The only bit that makes it feel modern, is a line about consent, which is more awkward than funny.
Emma is one of the least likable characters to ever grace the screen. There’s no redeeming qualities about her. She’s irritating and manipulative right from the start. There is definitely an issue with her dad dating her high-school frenemy, but at the same time she acts like a toddler having a tantrum at every opportunity. It’s hard to get on her side when she’s calling Brandy a widow rapist constantly. It’s not like any of the other characters are likable in anyway either, everyone is awful and it’s just an absolute chore to watch.
The script is lazy, using clichés all over the place and the most predictable plot points imaginable. The acting is passable, but the characters are so detestable it doesn’t even matter. There are no real redeeming things to say about Christmas is Cancelled. Just avoid it, avoid it like the plague and do not under any circumstances stick it on in the background on Christmas day. There are plenty of more entertaining things you could be doing with your time, like walking over Lego pieces with no socks on, or giving yourself papercuts – the choice is yours.
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