The Pope’s Exorcist – Film Review

Director: Julius Avery

Writers: Michael Petroni and Evan Spiliotopoulos

Starring: Russell Crowe, Daniel Zovatto, Alex Essoe, Franco Nero, Laurel Marsden, Peter DeSouza-Feighoney

Rating: ★★

The Pope’s Exorcist is a horror film from director Julius Avery, with a script from Michael Petroni and Evan Spiliotopoulos. Russell Crowe stars as Gabriele Amorth, the Pope’s exorcist, who travels to a run-down abbey in Spain that is being renovated by an American family. While the work is being carried out a demon is released that possesses the youngest member of the family.

Russel Crowe does a good job as Amorth, the wise-cracking exorcist that is facing controversy within the Vatican as the church is trying to stay relevant. The rest of the characters aren’t as convincing and just quite bland, which is a shame. The dialogue is pretty bad at points and it often feels like it’s all just going through the motions. It’s a possession film and we’ve all seen very similar stuff before, such as the equally formulaic Pray for the Devil that came out last year.

Effect-wise, the film is pretty decent, especially towards the end when everything really gets going. Sadly, while it looks good, none of it is scary. Besides a couple of jump-scares there’s nothing close to being tense or chilling. It doesn’t even create a creepy atmosphere, despite its abandoned abbey setting, complete with hidden catacombs underneath it that reveal a secret conspiracy dating back centuries.

The film is being marketed as being based on the memoirs of Father Gabriele Amorth, and while it’s definitely inspired by them, it’s also definitely not a true story. Even if you take it at face value it’s way too over the top to be believable, with a ridiculous Catholic conspiracy, extreme possession, and a battle with the king of Hell.

It’s a cookie-cutter possession film and doesn’t really bring anything to the new table. Russell Crowe is good as the lead character and makes it watchable, but it’s still just a by-the-numbers special effects driven horror film. If you’ve seen pretty much any possession film then you know exactly what you’re going to get.

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The Super Mario Bros. Movie – Film Review

Directors: Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic

Writer: Matthew Fogel

Starring: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen

Rating: ★★★★

Thirty years after the often ridiculed (yet still has an incredibly devoted cult following) Super Mario Bros. film, a second adaptation of the long-running Nintendo series is here. This time around it’s an animated film from Illumination, the animation studio behind the Despicable Me series. It’s already doing better than the live-action one. In it’s first weekend the film has broken Frozen II’s record for biggest opening weekend for an animated film.

Mario and Luigi find a hidden tunnel in Brooklyn’s sewers and find a pipe that takes them to the Mushroom Kingdom. They get split up and Mario seeks the help of Princess Peach to help him find his brother, while Luigi is captured by Bowser who is heading to Princess Peach’s castle to ask her to marry him. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a Mario story, and it works. It’s a fun-filled adventure with plenty of laughs along the way.

With Illumination animating the film it’s not surprising that it’s visually stunning. The animation is bright and colourful, making the Mushroom Kingdom really come alive. The characters also look brilliant. There are even a few moments where the film turns into a side-scrolling platformer. There’s been a lot of talk about the cast, mostly about Chris Pratt not being right for Mario, and while it is a little strange to hear Pratt and Charlie Day voice the beloved Italian brothers for the first few scenes, it quickly becomes natural, and they are both brilliant in the roles. The rest of the cast are also brilliant, especially Anya Taylor-Joy as Princess Peach and Jack Black as Bowser. There’s a song that Bowser sings about his love of Peach, which is one of the funniest bits of the film.  

For people who have played the Mario games and are well versed in Nintendo history, then there’s plenty of references scattered throughout the film from well-known sound cues to an arcade machine that looks a lot like the original Donkey Kong game named Jump Man (in the original DK game, Mario is known as Jump Man). They’re not distracting, and the film doesn’t rely on referential humour, so it doesn’t matter if you’ve never played a Mario game.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a blast for all ages, from start to finish. It’s one of the best video game adaptations ever made, and with the way the box office is going it looks like there’s a lot more Nintendo films to come. With things like the recent Sonic films and Detective Pikachu, the rule that video game films are always bad has been truly broken once and for all.

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Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre – Film Review

Director: Guy Ritchie

Writers: Ivan Atkinson, Marn Davies, and Guy Ritchie

Starring: Jason Statham, Aubrey Plaza, Josh Hartnett, Cary Elwes, Bugzy Malone, and Hugh Grant

Rating: ★★★½

Operation Fortune is pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a Guy Ritchie spy comedy that’s led by Jason Statham. From the opening scene it’s non-stop fun, with good action and plenty of jokes. It hits the ground running and doesn’t let up for the almost two-hour run-time.

The opening sequence shows Nathan (Cary Elwes) being informed by the British Government that a device known as ‘The Handle’ has been stolen and is tasked with forming a team to get it back. Throughout the exposition heavy opening are scenes of the device being stolen, as well as Nathan recruiting his team. It’s all blended together, keeping everything moving quickly. They don’t even know what the device is, just that it’s being sold by arms dealer Greg Simmonds (Hugh Grant). Their mission is to find out what the device is and who the buyer is.

There is no slow-down with the pacing at all and yet, it never feels like too much or exhausting. There’s no wasted time throughout. It’s filled with action, that doesn’t feel quite as explosive as other spy films, but is still exciting to watch. It’s everything you’d want and expect from a spy film – car chases, shoot-outs, heists, and going undercover all in the name of saving the world.

It’s all made better with Hugh Grant clearly having a lot of fun playing another villain. He’s essentially playing the same character as he did in Ritchie’s The Gentleman, with the same voice and slimy personality. Hugh Grant is just great at playing the bad guy, from Paddington 2 to the recent Dungeons and Dragons, the roles suit him perfectly. Jason Statham is also oozing charm, as he usually does. He’s consistently entertaining in everything he’s in, and this isn’t an exception. Aubrey Plaza is brilliant and convincing as an international spy. This would make a good double bill with Plaza’s other recent film, Emily the Criminal.

The plot is completely predictable, as the spy-group travel from place to place to find the device, never having trouble finding clues of where to go next. There’s a twist late in the story, but it’s really obvious that it’s going to happen quite early-on. None of that detracts too much from the film, as it’s still entertaining. The characters and jokes more than make up for the standard plot.

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Air – Film Review

Director: Ben Affleck

Writer: Alex Convery

Starring: Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Marlon Wayans, Chris Messina, Chris Tucker, and Viola Davis

Rating: ★★★★

Air, which is written by Alex Convery and directed by Ben Affleck, is the story of how Nike managed to make a deal with rookie Michael Jordan to create the Air Jordan shoe. The film stars Matt Damon as Sonny Vaccaro as he tries to convince his boss, CEO Phil Knight (Ben Affleck), to take a gamble and place all of the basketball division’s budget on securing a deal with Jordan.

The film starts with a montage of shots from the 80s, setting the scene with clips from the era accompanied by Dire Strait’s Money for Nothing, before we meet Sonny as he travels between college basketball matches to find new athletes to sponsor. When he’s not seeking new players, he’s betting big in Vegas. Nike is presented as a bit of an underdog in the story, with Converse and Adidas having bigger basketball divisions. It’s not a secret that Jordan ended up signing up with Nike, so there’s not much tension throughout the film about what’s going to happen.

It’s a feel-good underdog story, which is a strange thing considering even at that point Nike was a massive company, but it works. It’s a compelling story, due to how good the cast is. The star filled cast are fantastic, with excellent performances from everyone. Jordan’s mother, who is played brilliantly by Viola Davis, who was cast at Jordan’s suggestion. She’s on top form in every scene, even though she’s not in the film that much. While Ben Affleck was given Michael Jordan’s blessing to make the film, you never see his face and he doesn’t really speak throughout the story, emphasising that this is a story about the shoe, not a biopic of Jordan himself.

A story about the creation of a shoe doesn’t sound interesting at first, but Air manages to make it so. It’s simply excellent storytelling, so even if you have no interest in Michael Jordan, basketball, or even shoes, it’s still worth watching.  

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Magic in London: Enrolment – Part 16

Catch up on Magic in London here: https://ashleymanning.com/magic-in-london/


Fiona and Chuck moved through the rest of the school as quickly as they could, freeing classrooms from skeleton teachers as they did. Most of the rooms were empty, but every so often they would find a classroom filled with students in a trance as the skeleton wrote increasingly violent and weird things over and over.

“Are these real?” Chuck asked after Fiona smashed a skull into a countless number of pieces.

“Kind of. The kid made them. They would be able to hurt you if they attacked, but they weren’t real people, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Oh, I hadn’t even thought about that. Good to know.”

They got into a routine quickly. Fiona would go in, scatter the bones and Chuck would follow to grab the skull so Fiona could shatter it.

“Do any of you know where Tommy is?” she asked some of the children, and every time they replied with stunned silence.

“Where are the actual teachers?” Chuck asked as they walked through the school.

“That’s a good question and I’m sure we’ll find the answer soon enough.”

They moved up to the top floor of the school, taking the stairs two at a time. With how easy the skeletons had been to take down, they were feeling confident that the rest would be easy enough. At the top of the stairs was a door without a window labelled ‘staff room’. Fiona moved straight passed it, heading to the next row of classrooms. Chuck stopped in front of the door.

“Fiona?” he said quietly. “I think we should check I here.”

She stopped, turned around and came back to the door just as Chuck was opening it. Inside was a mess of blood, guts, and body limbs.

“What is this?” Chuck said, his whole body turning to jelly and any confidence he’d gained with fighting the skeletons drained quicker than the blood did from his face.

“It’s a massacre,” Fiona said.

She stepped into the room, blood squelching under her feet as she did.

“This is real,” she continued. “This isn’t an illusion. You can smell it. That kid killed all of these teachers.”

“And we’re here to bring him back to Whistling?”

“Just because he did it, doesn’t mean he meant to or that he even understands what’s happened.”

“Still, I don’t think it’s safe to have him around.”

“It’s not your decision, just as it isn’t mine. And anyway, we can’t exactly leave him here. Let’s just carry on, we must be close.”

Chuck closed the door and followed Fiona down the hall. They were back to a slow walk, whispering, and not wanting to be found.

“What happens to them now?” Chuck asked as quietly as possible.

“What do you mean?”

“The teachers. You said that there’s a kind of spell over everyone here and they won’t remember this later. What about the teachers, if they’re really dead. What happens to them?”

“Nothing. Arthur will make sure that they get buried and everyone moves on and no one will exactly know what happened. He’ll place a mental block in everyone’s heads, so they don’t put two and two together and never question why so many died at one time. In a few days new teachers will be brought in, and everything will continue. They’ll just feel an urge to up and quit their existing jobs and move here. For the next couple of months everything will be hazy and then it’ll all be clear again.”

“That’s way too detailed of an answer.”

“It’s not the first time something like this has happened. You know Toby, right? His friend destroyed a church in his hometown and not a single person remembers it was even there. Arthur scrubbed it from history.”

“He’s that powerful?”

“Yes. He’s incredibly powerful, but he wouldn’t be able to do it if it was something significant. If this was like Oxford or if it was Big Ben that got destroyed, then he wouldn’t be able to cloud everyone’s memories. There would be too many people who know about it and too many recorded documents showing it.”

“Scary.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s scary to think that everything in life can be manipulated to that extent. That I could have a different job tomorrow purely because some wizard, sorry whistler, makes it that way. That’s scary too me. Talk about no free will.”

“He doesn’t do it often, and only if there’s no other choices.”

“I’m sure that’s the case, but it’s still not a nice thought. All those people back there are dead, and no one will care enough to remember why.”

“Such is life. Most people aren’t remembered for very long after they die and none of us will be remembered in a million years. Being remembered doesn’t mean anything.”

“Nice pep-talk.”

“I do try.”

“I don’t think you do,” Chuck said with a half-smile.

They carried on walking down the corridor and didn’t find another classroom filled with students. Most of the rooms were just empty cupboards filled with supplies. At the end of the corridor, hidden around a corner and with a sofa outside next to a table with a bunch of wilted flowers on it, was the headteacher’s room.

“This has to be where he is, right?” Chuck said.

“I’d guess so. We’ve checked almost everywhere else. You stay behind me, and only do something if I tell you to. He might come peacefully if we just speak to him.”

Fiona opened the door wide and stepped inside, leaving Chuck in the doorway. Sitting at the desk was a small child, couldn’t have been more than eleven years old Chuck guessed. His eyes were closed, and he was sitting up straight, as if in meditation. If he knew that Fiona was getting closer, he made no signs of it.

“Tommy?” Fiona asked as she reached the desk. “Are you okay?”

The boy didn’t move, he was just as still as he’d been when they first entered the room. Fiona didn’t move for a few seconds. Her grip was tight around the knife. Chuck could see that Tommy was breathing, but he didn’t seem to be conscious. In that moment he forgot about the death in the room down the hall, the well, the students being captured. There was a peaceful feeling in the air, which was quickly destroyed by the horse skeleton bursting through the window to the side, shattering glass around the room. It neighed, it’s mane ablaze in fire, and looked towards Chuck and Fiona with anger in its hollowed eyes.  

To Be Continued…

Part Seventeen is available here: https://ashleymanning.com/2023/04/14/magic-in-london-enrolment-part-17/ ! Don’t forget to subscribe to never miss a post:

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