Starring: Kyle MacLachlan, Francesca Annis, Brad Dourif, Jack Nance, Sean Young, Sting, Paul Smith, José Ferrer, Freddie Jones, Richard Jordan, and Patrick Stewart
Rating: ★★★★
David Lynch famously hates his version of Dune. He didn’t get to create his vision for the story, with so much studio interference and almost an hour being cut out and shortened. Entire scenes become sentences and a voice over was added in places to explain what was happening. When the film was finally released, after over a decade of failed attempts to adapt Frank Herbert’s classic sci-fi novel, the critics and audiences hated it. The film was a flop and received scathing reviews. David Lynch wanted his name taken off it, and on the TV version it is removed. Despite this the film has grown a cult following over the last thirty-seven years, with some very vocal defenders, including one of the greatest sci-fi writers of all time Harlan Ellison. With a new version of Dune being released, which early reviews are claiming it does the sci-fi epic justice, Lynch’s Dune has been re-released in cinemas and Arrow Films have released a 4K remaster disc.
The new version looks glorious and is well worth making the trip to see if on the big screen. The picture and sound is excellent and the restoration is top quality. The score from Toto and Brian Eno is gorgeous with epic sweeping moments, some harrowing sequences, and a lot of more subtle and quiet ambient pieces. It’s an outstanding score that rivals any big sci-fi film from the last fifty years. It sounds incredible with the latest restoration, in the same way that the visuals are simply breath-taking.
The practical effects are fantastic and still hold up today, the CGI is primitive by today’s standards but still has a lot of charm to it. One look at the almost Minecraft CGI armour that Kyle MacLachlan and Patrick Stewart wear in their fight will tell you why people hate and love this film. It’s no wonder why it has a cult following and also easy to understand why people hated it at the time and now. The screening that I was in had twenty-one people in at the start (yes, I counted, sitting in the back corner), including me and my wife, within ten minutes four had left, by an hour in eight more had joined them. This is a film that is always going to divide people’s opinions.
The first act of the film is a mess. So much information is dumped on you through long speeches and conversations. There are so many names and terms that you have to remember. It’s dense and hard to follow, it’s also dull at points. It’s hard to stay focused on it all and so easy to switch off. Thankfully, once the film gets going it’s so good that it makes up for the opening. Getting through the first part is gruelling but so rewarding. The second half of the film, once the plot has gotten going, is so insanely wonderful and epic in scale that it’s more than wroth sitting through. The climactic scenes are epic in scale and simply awesome. By the time the credits role you’ve forgiven it for the first part (When I was much younger I watched this on VHS and hated it. Looking back, I only really remember the first part, so I think I was so bored I zoned out completely).
The cast is absolutely fantastic, MacLachlan (Twin Peaks) is excellent as Paul. Patrick Stewart (Star Trek: TNG) enters battle holding a pug, and joins MacLachlan to ride a giant sand worm to battle later. Sting is strange and intense. Lynch regular Jack Nance (Eraserhead) is giving it his all as the Baron’s henchman. Kenneth McMillan hams it up as the spotty and pus producing Baron, the villain of the story.
Lynch’s film isn’t going to be a fun time for everyone, it definitely wasn’t for Lynch himself. It’s worth a chance on and the new 4K restoration couldn’t possibly look better. If you have the chance to see this on the big screen, then go for it. It’s an experience at the very least and you might join the loyal cult of Lynch’s Dune. The novel is a great story and the film tells a very interesting version of that. It would have been very interesting to see Lynch’s versions of the sequels.
Before making Dune, Lynch was very seriously offered the chance to direct Return of the Jedi. After watching Dune you can’t help but wonder how David Lynch’s take on a Star Wars film would have turned out. It would probably have been as divisive as Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi at the time and gone down as a cult classic in the years since.
Starring: Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander, Joel Edgerton, Sarita Choudhury, Sean Harris, Ralph Ineson, Barry Keoghan, Erin Kellyman and Kate Dickie
Rating: ★★★★
After being pulled from UK cinemas a couple of weeks before it’s release, The Green Knight has finally received a limited cinema release and a new home on Amazon Prime video. It’s received glowing praise from its release around the world and it’s time for us in the UK to finally see it, either on a big screen, if you’re lucky enough to be near a cinema showing it, or in the comfort of your own home.
The Green Knight is an adaptation of the medieval story, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, one of the most well-known Arthurian stories. Dev Patel (The Personal History of David Copperfield) stars as Gawain, King Arthur’s nephew, who accepts a challenge from the green knight to land a blow on him, on the condition that one year later Gawain must travel to the green chapel to receive the same blow in return.
Dev Patel is absolutely fantastic in the role of Gawain. He draws you in with a mesmerising performance that keeps you glued to the screen for the entire runtime. The whole film has a hypnotic quality, walking the line between reality and fantasy perfectly and creating a dreamlike world that the story inhabits. It’s a gorgeous film with some amazing cinematography from Andrew Froz Palermo. The whole world looks alive and full of beautiful images. David Lowery is a superb director and has created a completely unique film. It has a sombre tone and a slow-burn pace that builds up. It captures you and takes you into a world that you can get lost in.
The film does venture into very strange territory, with the more fantastical elements. The world created isn’t bogged down with lore, so it’s completely accessible, with no prior knowledge of the story needed. It helps to take most of it at face value. The only jarring moments happen towards the start with names popping up on the screen in quick succession, not giving you enough time to take it in. Thankfully it’s not that important but can make you feel like you’re missing out on something.
Lowery has created an amazing atmosphere in the film. It feels almost like a dream, with overbearing visuals and strange moments. The score, by Daniel Hart, builds on that atmosphere with a loud, and often abrasive, music that at points feels like something you’d expect from a horror film.
The Green Knight is a fantastic dark fantasy, that deals with some interesting themes about legacy and destiny. It’s brooding and absorbing with an excellent central performance from Patel and masterful direction from Lowery. It’s not going to work for everyone, but it is a perfect film to watch and be taken into a new world by.
Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Chris O’Dowd, Timothy Olyphant, Daveed Diggs, Skyler Gisondo, Laura Harrier, Rosalind Chao, Loretta Devine, and Kevin Kline
Rating: ★★
The script for The Starling was originally written back in 2005 and took a long time to find a director and cast. This week sees its release on Netflix as part of their commitment to at least one new film a week. It’s an overly sentimental emotional story about grief that is undercut by some of the worst comedy you can imagine.
Lilly (Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids) and Jack Maynard (Chris O’Dowd, The IT Crowd) are struggling with loss of their baby. It’s been just over a year since she died, Lilly is barely keeping it together at work and Jack is in a psychiatric hospital struggling with depression. There doesn’t seem to be a way out, and things are only made worse when a Starling starts to attack Lilly when she’s gardening.
There are some great moments in the film. It has a few hard-hitting moments, but it’s all undercut by small snippets of an idyllic life before tragedy struck and plain bad comedy. The opening of the film, the first fifteen minutes or so, are dark and sombre and get you invested for an emotional drama, then the score changes and the titled Starling attacks. The tone instantly changes, and it becomes almost a slapstick comedy in places, but it’s just not funny. The only actual laughs the film gets is from one of the patients at the vets who has been feeding their cat gas station food like nachos. The rest of the film is void of humour and it makes what could have been a great character film into a lifeless bore.
During the opening you want to care for the characters. They are well developed and feel real and in the first few scenes you start to get invested in them. The film just can’t decide whether it wants to be a comedy or a drama and, in the end, it doesn’t succeed at either. There’s a scene where Jack is explaining how he’s feeling in counselling and it’s an interesting moment, which is undercut by a Borat impression. It’s so out of nowhere, and not funny, but it sums up the film’s messy tone. There are other moments that are similar whenever the film starts to get to dark or real, it quickly takes another path down sentimental or comedy. It’s just a mess.
The performances are great, especially from McCarthy and O’Dowd, who really make the tragedy feel real and get you invested. It’s just a shame the script doesn’t give them enough to really bring the drama home. The oversentimental moments are just too much. It clashes with the tougher moments and make it so none of it works and the whole thing just drags on until you get to the inevitable ending that shouldn’t be there. It tries to hard to wrap everything up and give it a happy ending.
The Starling is a wasted idea. Deep down somewhere there is a really interesting character study around grief, but it’s hidden underneath schmaltz and comedy that doesn’t work and should be there. After such a powerful opening, it’s a real shame that this film isn’t worth watching.
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Starring: James Whitmore, Edmund Gwenn, Joan Weldon and James Arness
Rating: ★★★½
The 1950s was a decade full of big monster movies and exploring the possible effects of nuclear weapons on the environment. The Japanese Godzilla is a perfect example and one that has stood the test of time. Them! From the same year as Godzilla almost feels like America’s counterpart to it. The first atomic bomb was detonated in New Mexico at the Trinity site in 1945, before being used against Japan a few weeks later. The power of the bomb and potential disastrous effects is one of the main elements of the Cold War. It led to an era of extreme anxiety that the end could happen at any moment. There was also a fear of what the bombs would do to the environment and creatures. The classic sci-fi film Them! Plays on this fear, with giant ants that had been affected by the first bomb that wreak havoc on the citizens near the Trinity site.
The film is almost 70 years old and if you’re able to get over the dated effects, the black and white picture, and hammy acting then there is a lot to enjoy. Switch off and let the film draw you in with terror and suspense. The film starts with two policemen finding a lone girl wandering through the desert in a state of shock. They find a trailer a little way down the road with one side blown from the inside. A few miles down the road the local shop has been attacked with the owner left dead.
The characters are all wholesome and work together to investigate the problem. They bring in a doctor and his daughter to help discover what has caused the incidents. When they first propose that its giant ants, no one really seems surprised. The whole way through people just go along with it. When the ants move to L.A., it’s broadcast over the TV and radio what’s happening and people on the streets just stand there and absorb the information. It does feel kind of strange, but it’s also gives more time to focus on the monsters. The recent American Godzilla films spend way too much dealing with the people, especially the 2014 one.
The ants, when the do finally appear, look pretty good. It’s primitive by today’s standards and the effects are a little laughable but if you can switch of your mind or have a phobia of ants in the first place, then they get the job done. The acting is the same, it’s passable and gets everything done.
Them! is a classic sci-fi monster film that’s still entertaining and enjoyable today, almost seventy years after its release. It helped build the genre of nuclear monsters and deserves a lot of credit for that. Whether you enjoy this, or find it mind-numbingly boring, purely depends on whether you like monster films. This is a very good one and if you’re a fan of the genre and want to see some of the early greats, then this is a great place to start.
Before I start this, I want to make it clear what this list is. These are my 5 most hated films, not the 5 worst films ever made. Hate is a strong emotion, that’s the mirror opposite of love. There are a lot of really really bad films out there, but I don’t hate them. There are so many horror films that shouldn’t exist that I’ve sat through, but don’t hate. These 5 are films that annoyed me to the point that I can rant about them at any point. One of them I haven’t seen in 9 years, but thinking about it still winds me up. I also know that for at least 3 of these films, there are a lot of people who love them and that’s completely fine. I don’t mean to offend anyone, these are just films that I’ve had a very strongly negative reaction to.
I also have an honourable mention, The Tree of Life by Terrance Malick. This was my first Malick film and I really didn’t like it. I’ve long said that this is the worst film I’ve ever seen, it’s way too long, overly pretentious and worst of all it’s boring. The reason why it isn’t sitting at the number 1 spot on this list is because I’ve only watched it once, 10 years ago, when it first came out. I’ve since watched other Malick films and enjoyed them. I want to rewatch it, maybe now that I’m an adult and have more patience I will enjoy it, or maybe it will retake the top spot on this list. It’s something I’m planning on revisiting soon.
Number 5 – Wrong Turn 4,5 and 6
Yes, I’m putting all 3 of these films at number 5. They are beyond awful, I almost swore instead of writing beyond there. Just terrible borderline porn films with absolutely no redeeming qualities. I sat through these because my mum recommended them and I thought it would make a good Franchise Catch Up post. The first three were quite good, the first one is a decent horror, the second a campy good time and the third was pretty good. Then the fourth one started and within ten minutes I wanted to switch it off, it’s just crap, and the two further sequels were just as bad. These films are a crime against humanity because people could accidentally watch them. They are a waste of time, and should have never been made in the first place. I hate them and I will never sit through them again. I was genuinely angry watching them. Thankfully the seventh one redeemed the entire series and was actually the best of the lot. Watch the first one and then the seventh if you have to watch any.
Number 4 – Monster Hunter
Another film that I watched this year. I did mention in a recent post that before 2021 I only had three films I hated. This is a pure mess of a film. It’s so boring and badly made. The acting is atrocious, the film plods along with nothing exciting happening at all. The action looks dreadful and cheap. There is one moment about 80% through where it looks like it’s going to pick up with strange characters and a setting that isn’t just a desert, and then it goes straight back to crap. It’s almost as if they were teasing that it could have been good. It also has several fake-out endings where you think the credits are going to roll and then more action. I almost shouted at the screen at one point, if I was at home I would have done. I can’t believe it exists and I can’t believe it’s made by the same guy that made most of the Resident Evil films. It teases a sequel and I would rather remove my nails with a sharp piece of wood than see it, that’s if it gets made. The director, actually said this was a passion project. The only way I could believe that is if he hated the game series so much that he wanted to make something that is impossible to enjoy. I’ve read good reviews for this film, including 5 star reviews, but I can’t understand how anyone can find any enjoyment in it. It’s just so long and boring.
Number 3 – The Dark Knight Rises
Following up The Dark Knight was going to be difficult, almost impossible. I waited for the third film in Nolan’s trilogy patiently, reading every piece of news and rumours about it from 2008 to 2012. There was no way it could live up, and it really doesn’t. Instead, it’s a bloated piece of trash that I really wished didn’t exist. It takes itself way too seriously but is filled with plot holes and Bane is just annoying. It took me a long time to forgive Tom Hardy after this, I would avoid things that he was in purely because I hated Bane so much. Bane isn’t a good Batman villain in the comics, and there are so many other options that haven’t been used in films.
My biggest problems with this one come from its length, the ending (which I won’t spoil but it’s crap) and the parts where Bruce Wayne is in the prison pit halfway around the world, but manages to get back to Gotham, save the day, with no money or shoes. There are other moments, that I’m sure are well documented online, that deal with the minor plot issues, the way time skips at points or where did Bane get the bikes from? There is too much in this film and I was so disappointed. After watching it again that Christmas when it came out on DVD, I thought the same. It’s just not a good film in the slightest. I put this so high on the list because this was the first thing I saw in the cinema that left me feeling so disappointed. It’s such a sour end to the trilogy and I really wish it hadn’t been made. That ending, I really don’t want to spoil anything because I know there would be people who haven’t seen it, but it’s just so bad. How this got better reviews than Batman V Superman, I don’t understand. I’d rather watch Batman Forever than this again.
Number 2 – A Quiet Place
Here’s where I’m going to start really annoying people. I wanted to see this film so much when it first came out. The premise sounded great, the trailers looked excellent and then the film was released. I was invested straight away and then they take the toy out of the kid’s hands and leave it on the side with the batteries next to it. Why would they do that? They don’t realise he’s going to put two and two together? How have they survived that long when they are so stupid to do something like that. It completely took me out of the film, and I couldn’t get back into it. The parents were just so dumb that I couldn’t believe any of what I was seeing.
What is the purpose of the nail in the stairs? Outside of letting Emily Blunt stand on it? What does it add to the structure? None of the other steps have a nail that’s pointed upwards on it, only that one. Why didn’t she notice it when her bag got snagged? It’s a very well made film in a lot of places, but there is no way the characters survived past day 1 and that’s why I hated it. I know if you think too much about almost anything, you can pull it apart, but I wasn’t trying to.
The second one is a lot better and I did enjoy it, but thinking back to the first one just annoys me. I hated it from the first scene to the end. Why does John Krasinski sacrifice himself? Why didn’t he throw something to attract the monster, it just makes no sense.
Number 1 – IT: Chapter Two
And here we are at my most hated film ever. I want to say that I loved the first IT, it captured the tone of the book and splitting the children’s and adult’s stories into two films is a great idea. The first film is great and the second is just awful. It’s way too long, to the point that it feels like an ordeal to get through it all in one sitting. There isn’t one scary moment, because any time something scary starts to happen there’s a one liner joke or something stupid happens. The jokes aren’t funny at all. They are dreadful.
Each character gets their own moment where something happens to them when they are alone, it feels like episodes that build up tension then a joke spoils it all so nothing’s scary and nothing happens. There are way too many flashbacks that it makes the first film feel pointless. Why didn’t they just make a three hour film with the first film as the flashbacks, like in the book, if they were going to rely on them so much. I felt that after the success of the first one, that this one felt smug. I was rolling my eyes so much and grumbling all the way through. IT is a fantastic book and the first film is great. The second really lets it down. It’s sad, but the TV mini-series is better.
Why do they make a point of saying, with a cameo from Stephen King himself, that the bike, Silver can outrun the devil if the bike doesn’t actually ever do it. The final scene from the book is the bike outrunning the ‘devil’, and they removed it from the film and replaced it with letters from Stan who committed suicide when he learns that IT has come back, to explain why he commits suicide. Why would they replace the ending if they could only come up with over-sentimental rubbish.
So there’s that! My top 5 most hated films, and a few rants out of my system that I’ve held in for a long time. I’m sure there will be a lot of disagreements and I look forward to any comments. I have tried to explain as much as possible why I hated the films and I don’t want to detract from anyone that likes or loves them. The top 3 are all high budget and very well made films, they just didn’t click with me. If they clicked with you, then great. It’s all subjective in the end.
For the most part I don’t like talking about the negatives in things. The good should be celebrated and the bad should be quietly forgotten. It’s not like someone sets out to make a bad film. As I spent ten weeks on my top 50, I thought it was only fair to spend 1 week with my most hated. This will be the only negative list I do on here, because why waste time talking about the bad when I can celebrate the things I love, and hopefully share it to some new people. Next week, to celebrate the release of No Time to Die, I’m going to be ranking the Daniel Craig films. By that point, I will have seen No Time to Die, I wonder if my rankings will change.
Ashley Manning 